My Heart Throbs

When you listen to someone else’s troubles, you don’t feel so bad. I was kind of feeling sad that my dad is slowly dying. Hospice didn’t think my dad would last till Mother’s Day, but quess what they don’t know when God will be ready for him. So he is still with us. My daughter said he has been sharing things with my sister so she will know how to handle things after he is gone. It’s amazing but he was pretty good at the stock markets.  He never bought nursing home insurance either. But his stay in the nursing home was he didn’t even have to touch his principal but lived off the interest. I wish he would have shared more of his knowledge with us when we were growing up. But back in those days they didn’t share things with their children. Well at least my family didn’t.

So I called a friend as I was sad about somethings, then she shared things with me. One of things that has been on my mind all week long, was she has daughter that is in an abusive relationship. It is really called domestic violence.

I did some research on the Internet to better understand situation. Domestic violence (also called intimate partner violence (IPV), domestic abuse or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship.  She told me some of the things her husband has done to her daughter. He acts like an animal.  I just can’t  understand why they have to act the  way they do. It is mind blowing. It makes me hurt thinking about it and glad I didn’t have to go through something like that.

Her daughter did try to leave but went back as she had no place to go. My thought is, doesn’t the police give them an option of going to women shelter?   Her daughter shared things with her mother. Her mother has tried to tell he they love her but it has to be her decision. It is hard for me to understand why someone lives that way, some can’t get away because they don’t trust there instincts, others are fearful or afraid of the aftermath. She  has had her nose broken twice, hit in head, punched in the stomach, been unconscious for few hours.  She has no communication with her family as this person has taken her phone away from her. Has camera all thru the house, alarms goes off if she tries to go out. How much can person go thru before they wake up.

There are a lot of domestic cases and many of those that are the victims don’t make it and are killed. It just saddens me. I think they would need counseling too so not get involved with same kind of person again. I have lost sleep, offered up prayers and now I guess I let it go and hope God will take care of it.

I guess I was just trying to express my feelings. If you try to do something even calling the police unless they have place to go, you could put them in more jeopardy, then they are now. I guess people who do this to others were abused as children so they think it is normal to treat their wives the same way their father’s did. I feel like my hands are tied behind my back.

We all are suppose to have our freedom of choice. God has given us our free agency. But boy are the people that controlled others boy will they have a lot to answer for in the here after. Satan is raging in some people’s hearts. May we give kind words to those we meet, let those around us know if we observe they are going through similar circumstances. Smile it may lift someone that needs it. Please pray that those that have the strength will leave their abusers for a better life. even peace and quiet then the contention in a home.

Here’s website to help you understand or what to know more: https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/

There is also National Hotline that one can call 800 number too.

https://www.dvrcv.org.au/about-us/relationship-violence

 

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Free Genealogy Site for POW Vets in WWII

Although this is free website, this website is in honor of Robert Stanley Jackson. I have been asked to do genealogy class at church. I was assigned to come up with resources. I already had bucket full. But I decided to go on line and see what else I could find. This is one site I found http://www.powvets.com and thought I would share. If you are familiar with this so be it, but if you aren’t it is an eye opener.

Then I came across 50 Free Genealogy Websites, have not taken time to investigate them yet, but will give you link here to share with you

https://familyhistorydaily.com/genealogy-resources/50-free-genealogy-sites/

12 Genealogy Sites You Must Search If You Have UK Ancestors

https://familyhistorydaily.com/free-genealogy-resources/uk-ancestry-records/

World War II Navy

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Every once in awhile something or someone will prompt you to do something. I want to thank Moore Genealogy wordpress for his wordpress theme. I have been digging for family history the past thirty years. I have helped a lot of people long the way too. I think sometimes helping someone else, open doors for me.

My daughter, has gotten closer to my dad as he has gotten older. He is now 92 and suffering with aspiration of the lungs. It seems every December/January he gets pneumonia but this year he is suffering with aspiration too. Not fun thing.

When I was growing up he would not talk to us girls about his experiences in the Navy. It seemed to be hush hush circumstances. When I got married the 2nd time, he seemed to open up to my husband and he would share things with him. But not us girls.

Well my daughter works for the Veteran Administration, and she works with the veterans. Seems he didn’t mind talking to his granddaughter about his tour..  So I am fortunate that my daughter did share some things with me.  I had them written in my family history file on the computer. But recently my computer died and I have had to start over with my family history and some stories have come back to me, but some information I guess is lost. 

  My daughter told me my dad was machinist on ship, that was news to me.   I guess I didn’t ask the right questions.  My daughter found that he was  board a ship that went to thru the Panama Canal,but he had the measles and wasn’t allowed to get out off the ship, I imagine he was in sick bay.  At the end of the war he went to Japan. He was also attack by the Kamikaze. When he back to states they landed in San Francisco, California. I did not know this either. So now I know a little more about my dad, thanks to grandchildren that have more clout.  Thanks for listening. 

On Call Doctor

We had an “on call Doctor” visit my father while he was in the hospital recently. After all he is 92, but he keeps getting aspiration pneumonia with complications. This time he spent some time in ICU. Then he was transferred to regular room. But there were some questions that needed to be answered. So the nurse contacted us stating there  was “doctor on call” that would answer some of our unanswered questions.

When this “on call Doctor” arrived, he approached Dad on the left side of his hospital bed, we told the Doctor he needed to be on the right side as that was side dad could hear better from.  The one thing I liked about this doctor was when he was near the bed, he turned to see who we were. I spoke up and told him I was Mary, a daughter, my sister said she had power of attorney for dad and my daughter introduce herself.  It was nice that he acknowledge us. He said he could tell that we were caring family. He probably noted that our mother wasn’t there but nothing was said about her.

So the “on call Doctor” walked around to the other side of the bed so dad could hear,  then the  doctor placed his hand on his shoulder and told him there was nothing more the hospital could do for him, and that he was dying.

I wondered how my father felt when this kind doctor had to give him this news? My father didn’t  bear any sign or crack in his voice at all, he didn’t have any tears in his eye.  Then the doctor went on to say that his father died when he was 20 years old, but was taken care of by hospice  and highly recommended that for our father. I felt that this particular doctor was sent to us. I felt he was an angel to deliver this message in such a way. I just felt something special about this doctor.

The next day the Hospice came the next afternoon to talk to all of us. Arrangements were going to be made as he would be returning back to his nursing home. The hospice would come in and check on him two times a week. When he gets his complications again they would be there to administer what was needed to keep him comfortable.

My sister asked us not to let our mother know when he passes. But I know that my mother has always had six sense about her. So I think even if we don’t  tell her she will know.

So it has been about 3 weeks and he is weak but he is still with us. He has good head and is alert through out all of this.

 

 

 

To the Rescue

I am retired now, it feels good. Sometimes some of my weeks feel like everyday is Saturday.  So many Saturdays I had to work and wasn’t able to be out in the sunshine but now I can be outside. It feels good.

Now that I am retired I wanted to volunteer some place, but haven’t decided. I am not in hurry as I am still enjoying being home and doing some things that I have been wanting to finish up when I was still working.  I also moved to larger city so I am excited to explore the town that I had lived in when I was 11. Anyhow, an old friend called and invited me to a Club she belongs to. They raise money to give to local charities. So my friend picked me up 20 minutes before the meeting was to start.

She was texting when I got into the car. Boy everyone is texting. I thought to myself, I had forgotten to ask all the pertinent questions, like how long was this meeting going to last. So we tried this for two months to attend,  but each time the snowy weather and cold temperatures were not on our side. Finally this week we were able to attend. I went as her guest. I knew she had lady coming to talk about heart health but that was all I knew.

Seems you sign in, sign up for upcoming events. They were selling raffle tickets for white elephant gift someone brought for this month. If you new or visiting you get a Guest badge to wear. Lots of people came to say hi or asked if I was going to join. Kept telling them I wasn’t sure.

My friend is the program chairman and she was concerned as her speaker had not arrived.  She contacted the speaker only to find out speaker had written her engagement on wrong day.  So they were trying to decide what to do. So I spoke up and said I would do it. My friend was shock that I would offer the first day there. But I have had a lot of experience in getting up in front of people.

I told my friend that I could give talk on genealogy. I just had done program at Genealogical Society on Monday, so felt I could pull something off my cuff. Everyone was surprised that being there for the first time that I was willing to help them. I involved the members so they didn’t have to just sit and listen to me. I had lots of people come up to me afterwards and either identified with the information or thanked me for coming and being brave to get up.

I feel I have been taught to be a leader, it makes one feel good to help out. That’s my story and I am stickin to it.

sorry

How many times do you hear some one say “I’m Sorry” ?

of course some people like to say read my lips, LOL

Not really, I was at restaurant recently and this older couple was sitting at table eating dinner. The lady kept coughing her head off and kept saying sorry to her partner. Then she would cough some more and say sorry again. First of all it wasn’t her fault, she apparently was eating something that was irritating her throat making her cough her head off. Then a lady next to their table, asked if she was alright. She replied that the pineapple was making her cough that is was tickling her throat. She thanked the lady for making sure she was alright. She continued to tell her husband sorry that she had uncontrollable cough. He never said a word that I could hear.

How often do you use “Sorry” ? I was just observing from across the way. But kept hearing this sorry which I didn’t think she needed to say. Perhaps she was nervous and it made her feel better. I am not sure, as I was not in her shoes.

I like to observe people. When you don’ t talk much, that the only other thing to do is to listen. Listening  to people around you, you learn lot about a person. I have noticed in some families that some people talk non stop (babbling brook). I remember my step daughter was pregnant and I took her some of her favorite Vines licorice. Her mother was there and was shocked that her daughter liked that kind of candy. The difference between her mother and I was, her mother talked non stop so she really never listened to what other were saying or feeling or even liked.

So with that said, I like to observe, I don’t feel I need to talk all the time. I try  to listen to others and I might note the things I need to remember about them. Another thing I recently didn’t know, is some people study mannerism. I guess I am one of them too. This is example of what happens to me: I might be at Wal-mart shopping and I can tell who is who just by the way their walk or the wave they have in their hair in the back, or shape of their head will tell me who they are without having to look and see who it is. I don’t know how I started doing this but I guess I do it all the time. I study people all the time.

Hope you stay warm and be kind to others.

 

 

 

 

Homemade Chai Tea Recipe without Black Tea

I love the taste of the David Rio San Francisco Tiger Spice Chai Tea, I received some for Christmas this year. I have had  other brands that was sweeten with honey but it left different taste in your mouth that I didn’t care for.   I  noticed that David Rio claims they have a decaffeinated brand  too. If you check the ingredients they both still contain Black Tea which means they are caffeinated.   But the spice combination in this is divine and taste so good.  I think the combination of cloves, cardamon, cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg is so delightful.

The reason I don’t want to continue with this brand is because of the Black Tea. My religion suggest that we should sustain from tea, coffee, alcohol and tobacco.

This is some of the side effects of Black Tea meaning it has high caffeine which I feel isn’t really good for our kidneys and pumping up our heart too much that we feel we can over do on our activities.  I checked online and this is some of the side effect:

High amounts of black tea can cause side effects due to the caffeine in black tea. These side effects can range from mild to serious and include headache, nervousness, sleep problems, vomiting, diarrhea, irritability, irregular heartbeat, tremor, heartburn, dizziness, ringing in the ears, convulsions, and confusion.

So I even wonder what some of these sport drinks that are loaded with extra caffeine that are on the market now if those who have chosen to drink it how it will effect their body in the future. I know for me that caffeine keeps me up all night till sometimes I go with out sleep for 12 hours. I don’t function or think as straight either and caffeine increases your appetite too.

So my husband helped me find a great solution. This is what I do now. I take about 6 ounces of unsweetened plain Almond Milk and heat it for 2 minutes in the microwave. Then I place a  Bengal Spice Celestial Tea bag and let it steep with lid on it. Then I stir in either 1 Tbsp. raw sugar or some Agave. The taste is the same  except without the black tea.  So I now have new drink. It has the same spices that I love in the Brand name spice tea but without the black tea. Celestial Tea uses chicory root which is substitute for coffee.

I decided to look this up to see what they say about chicory and it there are any health benefits. This is what I found out –

Chicory root has a mild laxative effect, increases bile from the gallbladder, and decreases swelling. Chicory is a rich source of beta-carotene.

It May Improve Digestive HealthChicory root is a good source of fiber, which may help improve several aspects of your digestive health. … This is because chicory contains inulin fiber, a type of prebiotic that promotes the growth of beneficial bacteria in the gut.

So if you are looking for an alternative I would like to recommend this to you. Let me know what you think. Thanks for stopping in and have Great Day.